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I Need To Let Some Things Off My Chest (This May Come Off As Deep)

GreenDragon2014

Disgraceful Member of Skycade
Diamond
GreenDraggo
GreenDraggo
Diamond
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
131
Likes
52
#1
I'm Drago, AKA GreenDragon2014. I'm 16 and already tired of living life. I've done my best to help others out in the best of my abilities. Despite me being, well-broken inside for the longest, I try my best to brighten others' days, so they can stay away from the dark pit that I'm in. For the longest time, I've tried to hide this, but I've gotten tired of hiding myself. Idk. For the longest time, I've logged onto Skycade to connect with others. At least for a while, I was able to log on and distract myself from the crap that was, and is happening in my life. I still want to log on and play on Skycade, but I'm losing motivation in doing a lot of thing in my life in general, including keeping my actual life. I've stopped going outside, I've started to go silent on social media, and I have even lost touch with some of my close family members. I'm just at a rock-bottom moment in my life. I don't want this, but life goes on as I feel that I'm starting to fade away. A few months ago, a friend of mine l that I haven't spoken to in years, lost her life. She cared about me and checked on me often. Still hurts me to this day, as like it did when I found out. About a week ago, I lost a close relationship (I rather not speak about this matter, and I request no one reference it) and it reminded me how much of a failure in life I am. That same day, I tried to end it all, but wasn't successful. I said some dark stuff, and I said something along the lines of "If I didn't engage in drama on another server, then the dude sending the bots wouldn't be doing this". I thought I made it clear enough that I'm NOT the one sending the bots, but someone still misinterpreted it and reported it to I think Joost (not exactly sure, but it doesn't really matter who received the report). I'm a very observant person, so I noticed that Fishy, Joost, a few mods, and I'm sure others in /v came to SMP. I had no clue why exactly they were here, but I had a feeling they were here for me. I thought that someone reported the dark stuff I said, and I had 0 clue what they were gonna do with me. Joost then /TPO'ed to me, then msged me to go on Discord. She told me she got a report about what I said about the bot thing. I basically told her the drama that happened on "another server", and how some dude say this going down, and decided to escalate this crap further. I showed her some screenshots and stuff that I had with Vik1nk and a mod on the other server (I took those screenshots in case situations like these happened) and I proved that I wasn't the one sending the bots. This drama with the other server was a few months ago, but this just proves that you can't just sweep stuff under the rug. Idk.. I want to stay with Skycade, and I do not want to quit, but I'm almost at the end of my rope. I have to make a few things straight, I am NOT the one sending the bots, so please stop trying to pin them on me. Second, please leave my drama alone, and stop reviving it. I've tried so hard to cleanse my name, a few others' names , and most importantly, Skycade's name on the other server, and in general. I hate to use all caps, but THE DRAMA IS OVER, AND IT SHOULD STAY DEAD. If I catch anyone trying to revive it, I will pursue to get them punished. This drama has put me in almost a living hell. On the other server, it got so bad to the point where the dude was releasing others' private information. How would you feel if you were partly responsible for peoples' info to be released? Anyways, me, Joost, and a few others have an idea of who's sending the bots. I'm not going to put his name out there, as I don't want this matter to grow more than it has, and I'm only comfortable speaking to staff about this matter at this point. I guess the few things I've done good, is keep my life, and not get perm-banned for people think I'm sending the bots. I have a few things I look forward to. 1, me keeping my life. 2, for old issues to pass on, and 3, and chance to prove myself. Without getting into detailed, I've always been overlooked in life. I've always been that one person that would either get picked last on a sport and just that person that everyone ignored and shunned out. I decided to apply for staff. Not only I'm familiar with the duties, but I've seen/studied some of the staff from a third person POV, and have even spoken to a friend, who so happens to be a mod. I also want to help out this server the best I can, as I truly enjoy it, and I want to be able to help out even further. I have good intentions, I just hope I'm given the opportunity to show them. I know what I've said can be portrayed as deep, but for the few people that give a crap about me, they keep things 100, so its only fair that I keep things 100 myself.

Until next time...
 

FredricksonMC

Randy For Eternity
Diamond
Iron
Fredo__
Fredo__
Diamond
Joined
Sep 26, 2018
Messages
745
Likes
235
#2
I'm really sorry to hear about what's going on. Just remember you are amazing, whatever anyone else says :)
 

Sodiumz

Active member
Sodiumz
Sodiumz
default
Joined
Dec 8, 2018
Messages
171
Likes
88
#3
Stand up, be strong.
Know right from wrong.
Forever Hence, believe yourself.

4 tips I have for you:
1. Stay healthy. Eat right. exercise daily.
2. Get a friend, could be anyone, all you need is someone to talk to.
3. Stay positive, make everything enjoyable
4. Strive forwards with a purpose, even if you don't have a purpose... pretend you do have one.
 

Birthdate

Active member
Birthdate
Birthdate
default
Joined
Aug 9, 2018
Messages
211
Likes
98
#6
Yea man the 1st step to getting better is letting people know how you feel, I am sort of in the same spot as you but im just finding myself and I plan on bettering myself this year, I was super isolated 2017-2018 ( maybe some of 2016 but you get the idea) and actually stopped talking to a lot of people who were close to me and I was just falling down a deep hole where I assumed my life is going nowhere and I kind of just stuck with that man shit really sucks, for me it started in the 8th grade you know got all that social anxiety (probably puberty I really do not know tbh) but after 7th grade (im in 11th now) I just became really depressed but im not here to tell my story lately i've been feeling better I go out a lot more (still not as much as before 8th grade) and im trying to make more friends not online but irl and I even sometimes hang out with old friends again, what im trying to say is life gets better you just have to discover yourself and there are gonna be dark times where life feels like shit but it gets better, the best tip I can give for you is to get out of your comfort zone and try making more friends I know that sounds really hard but just try it doesn't even have to be at school, and as for the drama stuff you have to move past it take that negativity and kick it out, that happened in the past man don't let that negative energy take over and if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me fam im always down to vent anytime if you want a new friend and stuff im always here just lurking around like a stalker... but in a good way somehow I guess. also sorry if im not the best advice lol....
 

SeniorChild

Member
Gold
SeniorChild
SeniorChild
Gold
Joined
Aug 18, 2018
Messages
33
Likes
10
#7
Why not apply for staff, youv'e been here long enough. GL.
 

Narwhalpeep

Juli
Diamond
Narwhalpeep
Narwhalpeep
Diamond
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
263
Likes
158
#8
Aw life will get better eventually
that really sucks :(
 

ClanMitchell

The time is 5:46 for anyone who is wondering
Diamond
Gold
Iron
ClanMitchell
ClanMitchell
Diamond
Joined
Aug 9, 2018
Messages
304
Likes
259
#9
I’m so sorry you had to go through all this, but as I said before, life gets better, it may be very tough to find motivation to even wake up in the morning but it gets better I promise you, and there are people who think highly of you and I know that for a fact, so I wish you the best and I truly hope life gets better for you
 

GreenDragon2014

Disgraceful Member of Skycade
Diamond
GreenDraggo
GreenDraggo
Diamond
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
131
Likes
52
#13
I’m so sorry you had to go through all this, but as I said before, life gets better, it may be very tough to find motivation to even wake up in the morning but it gets better I promise you, and there are people who think highly of you and I know that for a fact, so I wish you the best and I truly hope life gets better for you
I will be honest, everyday, I did wake up in the morning, just to decide if I’d live or end myself. A lot of my life involved waiting. Some voluntary, some not. I guess this is another part of my life where I have to wait. I try to make change, but I’m very lost.
 

GreenDragon2014

Disgraceful Member of Skycade
Diamond
GreenDraggo
GreenDraggo
Diamond
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
131
Likes
52
#15
Yea man the 1st step to getting better is letting people know how you feel, I am sort of in the same spot as you but im just finding myself and I plan on bettering myself this year, I was super isolated 2017-2018 ( maybe some of 2016 but you get the idea) and actually stopped talking to a lot of people who were close to me and I was just falling down a deep hole where I assumed my life is going nowhere and I kind of just stuck with that man shit really sucks, for me it started in the 8th grade you know got all that social anxiety (probably puberty I really do not know tbh) but after 7th grade (im in 11th now) I just became really depressed but im not here to tell my story lately i've been feeling better I go out a lot more (still not as much as before 8th grade) and im trying to make more friends not online but irl and I even sometimes hang out with old friends again, what im trying to say is life gets better you just have to discover yourself and there are gonna be dark times where life feels like shit but it gets better, the best tip I can give for you is to get out of your comfort zone and try making more friends I know that sounds really hard but just try it doesn't even have to be at school, and as for the drama stuff you have to move past it take that negativity and kick it out, that happened in the past man don't let that negative energy take over and if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me fam im always down to vent anytime if you want a new friend and stuff im always here just lurking around like a stalker... but in a good way somehow I guess. also sorry if im not the best advice lol....
Looks like I made a new friend. I also often lurk through the forums, often for hours on end. Looking for something exciting, and waiting for anything interesting to happen.
 

Pug

Member
eekSky
eekSky
default
Joined
Aug 13, 2018
Messages
87
Likes
29
#17
I'm sorry to hear this. Honestly I saw that u weren't in the right place on SMP but since I didn't really know you I didn't want to get involved. I don't have any personal experience with death but all I can do is try to understand. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you want to reach out to someone on here and try to get help, then I'm always here :p You don't deserve what's happened to you and the world can be brutal like that, but it has some good parts as well. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm always here and that I don't have anything to offer except from that and some of my randomness. So yeah, see you around! : )
 

GreenDragon2014

Disgraceful Member of Skycade
Diamond
GreenDraggo
GreenDraggo
Diamond
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
131
Likes
52
#18
I'm sorry to hear this. Honestly I saw that u weren't in the right place on SMP but since I didn't really know you I didn't want to get involved. I don't have any personal experience with death but all I can do is try to understand. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you want to reach out to someone on here and try to get help, then I'm always here :p You don't deserve what's happened to you and the world can be brutal like that, but it has some good parts as well. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm always here and that I don't have anything to offer except from that and some of my randomness. So yeah, see you around! : )
Thank you..
 

ShepardSheep

The Sheep Goddess (yummies wife)
Diamond
ShepardSheep
ShepardSheep
Diamond
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
667
Likes
359
#19
I've had my highs and lows too. A long time ago when i was like 11 i felt slightly suicidal and even once put a knife to my chest and genuinely thought about pushing it forward. But as im here today, you should know i didn't. Today i'm happier than i was when i was 11. Now i have hobbies like drawing, reading, painting, going on long walks, going to the beach, and ofc playing MC here with all the amazing new friends i have today. I suggest trying to get a hobbie. Since ik where u live etc, i would try going to the beach more. reading books. Finding large varieties in music thAT AREnT too DepRessING lol

Try finding a close friend irl and getting out of the house and hanging out with them. As ik thats hard for you to do, the least you could do is try. Otherwise you'll never know what'll happen ;) But let loose with them. Just tell them everything and let them listen. It feels good to get things off your chest that way.

Even as we're separated I'm always here to talk if you need me.
 

ClanMitchell

The time is 5:46 for anyone who is wondering
Diamond
Gold
Iron
ClanMitchell
ClanMitchell
Diamond
Joined
Aug 9, 2018
Messages
304
Likes
259
#20
I will be honest, everyday, I did wake up in the morning, just to decide if I’d live or end myself. A lot of my life involved waiting. Some voluntary, some not. I guess this is another part of my life where I have to wait. I try to make change, but I’m very lost.
:( I’m really sorry, I hope it gets better
 
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